Tax Suicide

Don't you think this picture looks kind of like it fits with a nerdy tax person...sorry D....

I think Greg and I just about gave in to Tax Suicide. We no longer like each other after spending three hours down at the *#($ computer and have resorted to opposite sides of the house. Actually I can hear him upstairs munching some munchies...oblivious to the tax stress...because lets face it....he observed while I entered and stressed. Our love will probably be rekindled by the time the mula hits the bank...oh crap..and then its just going straight to pay off debt. Ah, the joys. Although, I saw a lot of tax credits for adoption....hmmm....maybe next years taxes.....





Anyone else feel stress from taxes. My heart hurts. It always scares me...the IRS scares me. I just enter everything in like it says but it terrifies me that I am doing something wrong and that I'll be talking to my children next year through bullet proof glass.....AHHHH!! I have to read everything like 20 times to make sure I am doing it all right...and still it stresses me.





I'll write something blissful tomorrow but for now....I have to go eat some chocolate!!

Oh Remember, remember.....

Dearest Children,

I am writing this letter in regards to some troubling news I recently heard. It will affect our lives forever and I felt as though I need to write you this letter so that you can remember better days. Before a few nights ago, I felt confident I could live with my fear...enjoy everyday life...with as few "interruptions" as possible. Now, I am not so sure.

I hope that you remember the days that were better. When we could go out side..cautiously..but outside nonetheless. We could visit the park...although I know you have caught mommy running and screaming and chucking you in the car at a seconds notice because we were under attack. We'd go out in the front or backyard to frolic and play..until circumstances caused us to all four come running for our lives back inside..only to giggle and recall the "close call" we all shared that day. Alex you won't remember this but I recall leaving you in the Costco parking lot...in your car seat as I decided to run through the parking lot.....(okay so that is a bad memory..forgive me.) We have gone on picnics as a family..that may or may not have ended early because of a nuisance of sorts. Good memories my little kiddos..good memories.

I am sad to say that these memories will be all you have to hold on to these days. We will remember with fondness the beautiful out doors and summer days and say.."remember when"...and we will have to enjoy those memories. I probably have some good family movies we can watch of us outdoors that will help us to remember what the outdoors may have looked like. I guess I probably have some explaining to do as to why we are bolting our doors and no longer existing on the outside...except maybe in the night time..we will see. I have an article from the news I would like you to read to help you understand what is going on.

"So-called killer bees have arrived in Utah. Washington County authorities confirmed Wednesday that Africanized bees have been found, something public safety officials have been worried about — and preparing for.
We figured it was an eventuality that was going to come to pass, Africanized honeybees do not just swarm out of the sky and attack people like some B movie,(WHATEVER) but they are far more aggressive in the way they defend their colonies and will defend a larger area than European honeybees," the Utah Department of Agriculture and Food said on its Web site. "They have been known to seriously sting or kill pets, livestock and humans, and this behavior has earned them the nickname 'killer bees.'  " Deseret News

Comprehendo? I can't take a chance on me (I mean you) being attacked so aggressively by something so terrifying and annoying. As if bees weren't bad enough, they have to now be "killer bees?" Has no one ever seen "My Girl?" You would think our goal as a society would be to get rid of..eliminate killer bees. But it is not so..and so dearest children it is with deepest regret and fear that I must turn you in to hermits..lock you inside....and do my duty to protect you from such nasty NASTY insects. And I dare say...if any of you open the door and allow one of those murderous bees into my house.....it won't be pretty. I love you!

Truly yours,

Mommy

High School was.....

I saw this on my friend Rachel's blog and thought it was funny. . . here goes.



1. Did you date someone in high school?
Um, that would be a YES. I had a boyfriend most of high school but still seemed to date other boys.....If it wasn't one boyfriend it was another. My advice to Y.W is to never EVER have a steady boyfriend in High School.



2. What kind of car did you drive?
I drove my parents cars. I remember thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world when I got to take my dad's blue sunbird..with a sunroof. Then my parents gave it to Greg and I after my brother went on his mission and I could hear Greg coming from 50 miles away and the window was stuck in up position and we had taken it to the mechanic and he said you could die driving in the car because of the carbon monoxide but we still drove it for 3 years and it was a great car...other than passing out while you are driving from the Carbon monoxide.....I took CPR so I could revive Greg everyday he got home from work..very romantic!!



3. Did you pass your driver's license test the first time?
Well as a matter of fact... yes I did and I still inform Greg every day of our lives about the rules and regulations of driving and he looks at me like I am the biggest nerd for remembering all of the facts. Funny that he ever passed the dang thing. I still haven't been pulled over to this day...if you'd like to touch me because I am so special feel free.



4. Were you a party animal?
Define party animal. Did I drink or do drugs ever...NO. But could I cut the rug at the stag dances you bet your little behindy I could. Honestly I don't know why people need drugs because all I needed was a 32 oz coke and a laffy taffy and I was higher than a kite.



5. Were you considered a flirt?
I like to think I have a PH.D in flirting. I was born a flirt. I probably winked at the doctor on my way out of the womb.



6. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
LA LA LA..I was in Ladies Choir all through High School.



7. Were you a nerd?
Isn't everyone in one way or another? Everyone is so socially nerdy it is comical. I look at Greg's students and die laughing because when you are in High School you think you know it all and really everyone is just a social nerd in one way or another....THAT IS A FACT!



8. Were you on any varsity teams?
I find this question offensive. So I may not have made cheerleading (twice) and I may not have made orchesis (once) and I may not have won any student council races..(twice in H.S and twice in J.HS), I may have puked trying to run my first race on the track team, ....SO FREAKIN WHAT? Dumb question... need we always be reliving these horrible memories...:) Nothing a little therapy won't fix.



9. Did you ever get suspended or expelled?
That would be a no. I did use the "period" excuse for leaving class maybe a little to frequently.



10. Can you still sing your fight song?
We are the fighting bruins of Mountain View our song is heard our story told, about the team thats....la la , we're telling you, our victory will soon unfold. Mountain View you are the winning team, see our colors gleam (fight, fight, fight.) Always you will reign supreme- the cardinal, white, and Goooold! (I think I only missed that one work..right?)



11. Who were your favorite teachers?
Hmmm. I liked Mr. Fong, Rod, Mrs. Gardner. I liked Mr. Williams becaue he liked me and when I took him a thank you note at the end of the semester he took my grade up from a B to an A. He's says it was extra credit he forgot to put in my grade..... Oh, my favorite was Coach Walker..and now we are related in a round about way...lucky girl!!



12. Where did you sit at lunch?
I didn't sit, I wandered and spread my love to all around. If you asked my sister Deanne she would say under the mistle toe..which was true at Christmas time. I just wanted to give some lucky guy a freeby....geez.



13. School mascot:
Bruin.


14. School colors:
Cardinal, White, and Gold.


15. Did you go to homecoming and who with?
Now, yes I did. I know what you are thinking. Was she sixteen that first homecoming..and no I wasn't BUT my dad and mom said I could go to Homecoming and Prom my sophmore year if my dad interviewed the boy first. So poor Rory Sorensen was the lucky winner who had to be interviewed for my first homecoming and I feel bad for the kid because it probably wasn't worth it for him because I think I said two words to him the whole night.....(this goes back to the nerd question above..I was a little socially nerdy for my first date..give me a break) The next year I went with my boyfriend Wade Allen. My senior year I went with..crap I know who it is,..the Wyatt boy. Nicest boy ever. Dangit. My freshman year in college I went back for homecoming with another boy who I can't think of his name...is that so sad? He wasn't very nice to me anyways so I don't care if I remember his name. I would know it if someone said it. His last name started with a P and Sharlynn he lived over by you. Dangit!



16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
On one condition. If I could go back with the knowledge that I have now. High School would be a blast if you realized how fun it could be. There wouldn't be time for cat fights and or getting your feelings hurt or the girl drama. I have realized as an adult that EVERYONE. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E, is so insecure. I would be friends with anyone and everyone and not be so caught up in myself. I also think I would have kissed more boys...(crap did I say that outloud?) So, long story longer....yes I would..only if I could come back to the wonderful life I have now!!


17. What do you remember most about graduation?
Two words, "sweat pits". I was sweating so bad and I had borrowed my sisters shirt and she was crying because I was sweating in it. (remember Deb?) I had a sweating phobia. Because I was a sweater I worried about it and then I would sweat even more. I would lather up the deoderant about an inch thick and then freak out wondering if I was stinky. I would seriously wear like four shirts just so it had to soak through four shirts first before I had sweat pits down to my hips. I was just glad to be done with High School.



18. Where did you go on Senior Skip Day?
That would be LAGOON!!



19. Were you in any clubs?
Do we need to go over this question again...I was not cool enough to be in any clubs.



20. Have you gained weight since then?
Huh, what was the question? I didn't hear you. Did you say something about my weight? Well you can kiss my behind, which just happens to be bigger since my high school days. Come on people. I weighed 110 pounds in High School. Give me a break. I guess the answer is yes. Approx. 40 pounds. (do the math) I weigh now what I did giving birth to all three of my babies and I want to die...but I was too obsessed with my weight in High School...okay, so not much has changed. I want to go on Biggest Loser...that is the only reason I am fat now.



21. Who was your prom date?
My Sophmore year was Wade Allen, my junior year was Craig Cardon and my senior year was Steve Mortensen. I'd go into detail with some funny stories but we'd be here all day.



22. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
I refused because I am so fat. But then on the day of it I went to lunch with my girlfriends and they talked me into making an appearance. I can't believe I went because I purposely didn't get my hair done or buy anything cute to wear because then I knew I'd talk myself into going. Dumb girl. Then I went and walked around and said to everyone I saw.."Hey, don't look at my roots and I know I've gained 40 pounds." My friends were making fun of me but I guess I figured if they knew, that I knew, that I was fat and had bad roots then they wouldn't talk about me behind my back. (do not leave any comment about how I am not fat...I will just erase them)



23. Did you have a job while in high school?
Only the best job in the world. I of course worked at Goodies Galore with some of my best friends ever. In fact I think we went and got professional pictures (by professional I mean at KMART) taken together. It was the best job and while you were at work you could eat the candy and then whatever candy you took home you got for 50% off (I think that was right), anyhow, they changed that rule after I left and not to long after then went out of business. Okay, so I liked candy...leave me alone.



24. Worst class?
Anything math........I even tried the old carmex trick. You know where you rub carmex on the bubble sheet and it automatically gives you a good grade....DANG trick didn't work. Our teacher left the room and someones carmex container got passed around the whole class. I'm not proud of it. Have I ever mentioned I was valedictorian in the 6th grade...just wondering?>!?!!?>



25. Favorite class?
Probably T.A for the boys weight lifting class with Coach Lahargue. I'm serious. Easiest class I had. Okay I also loved my medical science classes....way cool!

26. Most embarrassing moment in High School.
High school can be awkward and I can think of so many shameful moments. My top two that come to mind are......(drum roll please..)

When I was the beloved T.A for the boys weight lifting class. It was right after my own weightlifting class so I would just go down in my workout clothes. I was telling Coach Lahargue one day about a dream I had and of course some of the guys were listening. My dream was that I was in this class and one of the boys wondered how many pullups I could do and so I jumped up on the pullup bar and just started cranking out all of these pullups and the boys were just screaming the numbers as I used my muscles and rocked everyone's world...end of dream. Pretty pathetic right? So Lahargue was like, "Okay Peterson, so how many can you do?" So I walked over to the pull up bar and by this time the whole class was listening and now watching. I went to jump up on the pull up bar and I don't know what happened. It was like slow motion. I missed the pullup bar..I think...it is all a little hazzy...and I fell backward in slow motion and landed on my butt. I bounced like four times and I think my shorts were practically up over my head. The roar the came from the weight lifting room was too much to handle. Of course I am sure I stood up and took a bow but for the rest of the year all I ever heard was, "Hey Peterson, how many pullups can you do?" NOT FUNNY!

Next story was with Coach Rehre (spelling?) We had a love hate relationship. He was one of my favorites too. One day we had a project due in class. I was pretty darn proud of my project and thought it turned out wonderful. He had us go hang the posters on the wall. The next class he commented on the projects and wondered if I would go and get mine down off of the wall for the whole class to see. I proudly went and retrieved my beautiful hand drawn artistic sketch of the map of the United States. I brought it to the front of the class and Coach Rehre asked me a few questions about it and then he said, "Peterson, would you like to tell the class what state is right next to Texas and please refer to your map, (I don't know if these were the exact words but it was something around this.) The whole class just started laughing because I GUESS I had put Texas and Florida a little to close to each other. Big deal..so there may be a few states in between there...and maybe some water.....I drew it free hand..GEEZ! So the rest of the year the other question I got was, "Hey Becky, What state is Texas next too." Cute..very cute!! Kiss my bum.



That my friends was a hoot. Too fun to relive and make fun of myself. If you feel like you'd like to rehash some old buried feelings and play along then do it. I on the other hand need to go call a therapist. (mom, I am joking... No one thinks I am going to REALLY go call a therapist.)

Dear Journal,...

Dear Journal,

Okay, so I know this isn't my journal but it sadly has joined my journal on the shelf....hardly touched, hardly thought of, but with the power to make me feel regret and guilt. I recommit to my blog starting next Monday(that's when all my resolutions begin..always next Monday..)...that's when the diet starts, the caffeine fades out of my life, exercise begins..AGAIN, and my butt hopefully begins to disappear. (I heard you laugh..that is rude!!)

Here's to next Monday..or maybe the Monday after that....and quite sadly possibly the Monday after that........

Young Minds

My kids always crack me up. They also always touch me with their little spirits. Here is yesterdays example with Alex:

Alex: Mamma, I not feeling so well. Ohhh, I feelin so sick.

Me: What is wrong buddy?

Alex: Satan wants me to be a bad person. Ohh...I not feeling so well.

Me: What is Satan wanting you to do?

Alex: He wantin me to think of bad girls.

Me: Uh, Oh....

Alex: Don't worry mom, I not thinking about Satan, I thinking about Jesus. I going to say a prayer right now. Heavenly Father, please, Please, PLEASE I not be a bad person. PLEASE. I not want to be a bad person. Please not let Satan let me be a bad person.

He is so sweet and it amazes me sometimes how much kids really know. I also wonder if scripture study with them is really important at this young age and then they amaze me with what they remember. I know it is important.

And then there was Colton:

Okay, he really is a sweet boy but he has a different streak through him then I am used to. He thinks it is funny to address everyone one by calling them butt...including calling everyone and everything a butt in his prayers. This morning I asked him who Jesus's mother is and he said, "Butt" and then rolls on the ground laughing. I on the other hand am hiding under furniture so I am not struck by the lighting. I told him he was not allowed to talk like that and I flicked his mouth and he looks at me and sticks his tongue out at me and says, "That not hurt!" I told him he was going to go in a time out and he said, "You want me to kill you mom?" He is a big talker because then when I stood up to go get him and put him in time out he runs through the house like he is being chased by the most horrible thing you could imagine. I have never had a kid talk back to me like that kid. BUT....I love his sweet side too. He really has such a sweet personality.

And why not share a story about Dallin:

He told Greg the other day that he thinks he had a migration. Greg said "A what?" And Dallin said, "you know Dad, what YOU always get...a migration"....I am pretty sure he meant Migraine.

I'm pretty sure Greg has said something funny this week too...I just can't think of any right now.

Until next time.....

Fine....I'll repost

Okay...I am reposting because the word on the street is that the lovely picture I had on there with those teeth is sickening people. My mom wants to make sure people know that that isn't my mouth...you all know that right? Geez..I was really concerned!! Now I post a picture that is opposite of the other one...this is what I call my perfect heaven shot!!

So what to post about? I have approx. 3 minutes before I need to run up and jump in the shower and head off to my really really long day.

Let me recount mine and Gregor's date last night because oh, it was eventful. Greg has decided to make his muscles BULGE and has been lifting weights all of two days...I'm so proud!! But he is in a LOT of pain. You would think that he had been smashed by two semi's by the way he is walking around. And try squeezing his pecks....okay, don't try it unless you want to see a grown man cry. I actually wanted to see a grown man cry so I did it probably no less than 50 times last night. Haven't seen tears like that in ages!! My favorite line of the night is when Greg mentioned his soreness and said this following line....."I know I was probably in a lot of pain after my car accident...but I swear I don't remember being in this much pain....." That was about the time that I peed my pants. Really? Seriously? I said, "Let me recount your accident......knocked out cold for who knows how long, broken face, sliced up face, metal rods, metal plates, 400 pound man smashing you.....NEED I SAY MORE?"...."Ya..I can kind of see how that compares to lifting weights at the High School gym." Too funny, too funny indeed!! That my friends is why I love my husband. He is entertaining...even when he doesn't mean to be. Now some may think I am harsh and rude and disrespectful to my love, love, lover......YES you are right, I have nothing else to say!

We...dear people....have play tickets. I got them for Gregor a few years ago so that he had no excuse not to take me out on a date every 6-8 weeks..they were paid in full at the beginning of the year and we really love going to the plays and so have continued with the tradition. Last night was play night and so my madre watched the kiddos for us and we went on our date....Greg's sore muscles and all. He amazed me and schmoozed me at dinner as he stared at the wall and took 20 minutes to lift his sore...super muscly...arm up to feed his face with his salad..(he's also on a diet...I hate to break it to him but I don't think a Cafe Rio salad counts in the diet..as a salad..) Apparently when you lift it affects your WHOLE body and your ability to talk. So..I talked and he moaned...and listened. After dinner we headed to the play. New seats..we usually sit in the same ones but they were still fine nonetheless because they had the requested leg room that my man needs. The play was fine. Wasn't one of my favorites and I am assuming it wasn't one of Greg's favorites either because normally we giggle and laugh and look at each other out of the corner of our eye through the whole play but every time I looked at Greg his eyes were glassed over and dazed......poor Greg. Which was fine until I heard an awkward noise and even more awkward when I realized it was coming from Greg's corner. Yes....he was snoring!! "Oh my...um honey bunches..you are snoring!!"

I was bummed because we decided to leave at intermission but was consoled at the fact that he wanted to go get a hot chocolate to warm our bods..my chubby bod and his very very sore muscly bod. We aren't usually hot chocolate drinkers and it showed as we tried to fill up the cups with the hot chocolate machine at walkers...... I suggested putting some vanilla creamer in the hot chocolate because I'm going to gain 10 pounds from my drink anyhow and Greg was concerned that THOSE WERE JUST FOR COFFEE DRINKERS. I tried to tell him that the creamers are not the bad part of coffee and that it actually added some nice taste to the cocoa..but he wasn't having any of it!! Oh Gregor!! the bonus in our life this very night was when the cashier asked us if we wanted some donuts. We slighly looked at each other...um...."they are free" said the cashier..."Heck load them onto the napkin chick...we ain't no dummies"...so we had cocoa and donuts all while my husband sat through the pain from lifting weights to try to lose some weight......PERFECT!!

There was no kiss on the front step...but it was a great night as I towed all the kids to the car so that Gregor wouldn't have to lift a muscle!! Now that my friends is what 10 years of bliss will do to you!!! Love you Gregor..hope your muscles start bulging more and hurting less!!!

Toothache from.....

I have had it. I have had a toothache from heck...from outerdarkness...from the pits of despair...from Lucifers quarters....okay..from HELL!! There is no other way to describe the pains I have encountered over the past two years and I am fed up with it. A few years ago my childhood dentist decided to retire...it was about that time I decided it was time to switch to Greg's beloved dentist and our children's dentist...it was also about that time that my rotten mouth decided to get more rotten. I hate the dentist...I despise going..and now two years later...I hate it even more. Let me explain. A few years ago I had a toothache. Just a nice simple toothache. I went and got my teeth cleaned and low and behold I needed another crown...(I should be serious royalty with all the crowns I have in my mouth.) I was puzzled though because that wasn't the tooth bothering me. The one next to it was bothering me. My nice dentist reassured me that that tooth was fine and proceeded with the work on the crown...the one not bothering me. And because Lucifer works for all dental insurances..it takes just about one crown to exceed my "yearly alotment. If only I could go drill through one of the head execs at the insurance companies face..with no pain killers than maybe just maybe they'd change that policy for people with rotten teeth such as mine. The story continues. About a week later that pain has turned to a pain I have never EVER experienced before. Seriously. I wish just for a second someone could feel that pain that I had..that's all it would take is a few seconds and they would fall on their knees pleading to help get me out of this pain. Now I haven't emphasized enough that i feel like I am normally a tough cookie. I have c-sections and I am up and going the second that epidural wears off. I don't want to have to rely on anyone to get me up to the NICU to see my babies...and as soon as I leave the hospital I can't take one pain killer because I always have to be back and forth from home to the hopsital to be with my little babies. Ever tried that? I'm tough. This tooth ache caused me to scream and cry like a baby. I wanted to die. In the end...like three long weeks of hell..the tooth got fixed(Root canal) with a promise that that would never happen again. It was rare. It never happens twice. Bull honkey. A few months later the tooth next to it decided to "flare up" so to speak. By this time I think the dentist is thinking I am crazy. I care more about what he thinks and being embarassed than getting out of that miserable pain. Let me describe the pain. You lay down in the road and a big semi drives over your face...that is the pain. It hurts in every part of my face and down the back of my neck and out through my ears. It is horrible. In the end...another root canal and another promise that forsure this will never happen again. Fast forward another few months. Toothache..different side this time. Not as bad as the first two but gradually getting there. I am so humiliated because as we know..."this will never happen again" and I put off calling the dentist for 6 freakin months!!! I finally call around Thanksgiving and they get me in and do an x-ray and tell me nothing is wrong...to try some sensodyne....and I think..."Um, how bout you go smash your head in between two very large boulders.." SENYSODYNE? You think that I am that big of a wimp that I am complaining about sensitive teeth? At this point I realize that it is true..the dentist thinks I am crazy and that there is no way I am feeling this pain. Now let me explain..this pain isn't all the time. It comes and goes..which is odd. But one day I will be completely fine and then next I will be planning my jump from the highest mountain I can find. It really is odd. I start panicking that maybe he thinks I am making it up...maybe he thinks I like my drugs(which is funny since I still haven't used all the medicine from last time..I am opposite I never ever take medicine)..Maybe he thinks I have a crush on him and like to frequent his office to see him....maybe he thinks I crave the attention!!?!?! Let me tell you one wish I have.....TO BE OUT OF THIS PAIN ONCE AND FOR ALL AND TO NEVER HAVE TO SEE A DENTIST AGAIN!!

So, I made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas praying that I could make it to Jan 1 when my insurance would kick in....and of course on New Years Eve the pain come on as strong as ever. In my ears...up my cheek, down my neck. The pain is paralyzing. My whole face droops and I can barely talk. At this point I think my dentist is as crazy as he thinks that I am. I can't decide if I should try another avenue and see another dentist. I call another dentist on Jan 2 and they are out of the office. Per Greg's request I call my dentist just to see if they are there.....THEY ANSWERED. I was so not expecting them to answer so I was caught off guard and started explaining to the secretary what I am going through and of course I burst into ball baby tears and make more of a fool of myself. I look even more crazy now. I decide to go see my mother's dentist. I went...I saw.. and he said that that tooth looks fine and that maybe the tooth next to it needs a root canal...here we go again. This is how we started. I know what tooth it is. I am starting to wonder if I'm not crazy!?!?! Where is this pain coming from? I'm at a stand still. For now..the pain has quieted..but I know it will come back and I am puzzled as to what to do next.

I never thought the song, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" would mean so much to me...cause I think all I want for Christmas next year is some "dentures"....SERIOUSLY!!!

Now, I don't need any comments from people who would like to lecture me on my sugar intake. I do digest some sugary substances...a lot..BUTT OUT!!!

Um, and it doesn't help that Greg could be a tooth model. He has perfect teeth and he lets m e know it. I don't get it. I brush my teeth many times a day and there are times when Greg crawls into bed and I say..."Um aren't ya goin to brush your teeth?" And with a sigh he says.."I'm too tired" and to which I punch his lights out because one he's rubbing in the fact that he can have perfect teeth and not take care of them and also because now I get to smell his more unpleasent bad breath smell all night long!!! I recall a time that poor Greggy had a surface cavity...his first.. and he was terrified to get it filled. I wanted to cry for him...wa wa!! To bad so sad! We only had one vehichle at the time and so I dropped him off and I left to run some errands and when I came back to get him he was sitting on the front steps of the office and had his head buried in his hands. I rolled down my window to mock his "little" pain and he stood up and got in the car and informed me that he puked on the dentist. What the holy crap? I need not say more...

So, for now I sit in panic and wonder what will come of my poor poor mouth. Who will I turn to? Do I stay now at this dentist or do I go back to my old dentist? I don't want someone just to do unnecessary work just to try to please me...I really don't enjoy this. I just want the pain gone. To bad the tooth fairy doesn't come and relieve pain AND leave a little mula under my pillow!!