Happy 30th to ME!!!

Here I am at 30....and yes the next picture is of my gray hair..I like to pretend it is my first and that I haven't really been going gray since I was a teenager.

I must be dreaming because my 30th has come and gone and I feel exactly the same....I am missing a few tears...because I balled when the clock struck midnight....sobbed.....while a onlooking husband wondered why the heck I would seriously be crying. I admit..it was a hard one. 30 is old....time is going quickly....and I am now at an age where people think to themselves: WOW SHE IS OLD. I remember last year my goal was to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday...uh hum....um...well.....lets just be thankful I didn't gain any weight okay...get off my back!! I really meant the year after my 30th would be the year I will lose 30 pounds..so weight busters here I come. Remind me to tell you about Greg's comments at dinner...on my birthday..there may be reference to a beached whale...uh huh....I know...apaulling!!

Greg is the best husband...with the best intentions....and very VERY well trained. I have molded him over the last 10 1/2 year and slowly but surely my MASTERPIECE is becoming perfected...wuah ha ha. Let us take a moment of silence to remember the birthdays of past....it won't take long...most of them came and went with only a mention of.."I really didn't get you anything....I am serious...I really didn't...I don't want you to think I did..." Yes, he was serious and yea.....after multiple years he learned his life was more valuable than to let another birthday slip by without even a birthday card. Okay, I hear the people.... "Becky you are so selfish...are gifts really that important.....its about the love....blah freakin blah..." I am not really wanting to get gifts but maybe a little more love on the day of your birth wouldn't hurt. ***ALSO IF ANY OF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN GREGS PLANNER YOU KNOW THAT ON THE LAST PAGE THERE IS A LIST OF 'GREG'S WANTS' THAT SPANS MAYBE 5 COLUMNS AND THEN A LIST OF BECKY'S WANTS THAT HAS MAYBE ONE OR TWO THINGS LISTED UNDER IT WITH A QUESTION MARK BY BOTH. A month or two before his birthday his will ever so "unslightly" pass you his list of wants.....complete with highlights, stars, and underlines. There seems to be an abundance of cash flow around December 23rd...and an underabundance of cash flow around June 8th...SHOCKING HOW IT WORKS THAT WAY EVERYTIME.

But this post isn't about the past...it is about the present and the progress my love chunks has made. With my birthday fastly approaching I didn't even have a slight clue of what might be instore for my 30th year celebration. Dallin knew...and assured me he would probably be a little nervous...thanks D. Greg was silent about it...(only because he didn't know what he was doing until 6 days before my birthday...) But after he figured it out he assured me it would be a big surprise. I begged and pleaded for him to tell me. Doesn't he know me at all...I hate surprises. JUST TELL ME OR I MIGHT DIE...I would plead. but he continued to torture me and haunt me with NO details at all. All he would say is, "you are the worst and I am never doing another surprise again..." Come on..am I really that bad........ ( I really am and this is a warning to all who read this.....DO NOT KEEP SECRETS FROM ME.......it will only make you go crazy)

Greg and I rang in the 30th yearday of my entrance into this world at the stroke of midnight. (speaking of can't waiting for a surprise did anyone know I tried to come 2 months early and they had to sew me in to my momma and she couldn't get out of her bed for 2 months...see you can't blame me..I came that way!!) Anywho..I told Greg that it was now my birthday and could he PLEEEEEEEEEASE just tell me what he had in store. He said no and rolled over and went to sleep. I woke up to a birthday song from Gregors. Colton was so cute because he was so excited for me to see what they had done the night before. He giggled and jumped around and when he couldn't stand it anymore he would run to the corner and jump up and down. You would have thought I was getting a new car or something but he was so excited because they made me a huge sign that they hung up in the family room and he thought it was the coolest thing EVER. We all went to breakfast (I actually got splinters in my butt at the restaurant..but that is a story for another day..) and then they took me to the spa and dropped me off for a MASSAGE. I know...HeAvEn!!! (I would have saved it for later if I knew what we were doing next.....) Afterwards Greg picked me up and he was all cheery...he said we had to hurry because we were supposed to be up PROVO CANYON IN 10 MINTUES......

DA

DA

DUN...............................

What are we doing up provo canyon Greg? You will see. I started to panic. It was raining....there was lightning......ahhhhhh! He finally said we were going down the Provo River. I specifically asked him if we were kayaking down the provo river and he said...NO. He claims he didn't know...uh huh. I quickly began the...."Um, hi...my name is Becky...you know your wife of almost 11 years....um...ya..hi......DON'T YOU KNOW ME AT ALL?" I don't like danger....I like safety...I am the queen of safety..in fact just call me Queen Safety. Why in the world would I like to spend my 30th birthday with a death wish. I assured him that I have NEVER wanted my death day to be the same as my birthday....EVER. How sad would that be. People mourning you would be like.."ahh, you remember the day Becky was born...?....AHHHH, then she died the same day.." They'd be so confused. Anyways.... I had no way out of it. I also knew there was no way Greg came up with this on his own. He reassured me that he actually didn't and that him and another seminary teacher figured out their wives had the same birthday...(holla Melissa) and that this was actually Sua's idea.......and that his wife was actually adventurous...

In the end...the clouds parted long enough for me not to be struck by lightning as we kayaked down the river and we actually had a good time. I'd say it was split to about 76% laughing and the other 24% me screaming for my life as we almost hit boulders and trees. We only ran into one "house sized boulder" and Greg only almost knocked me unconscious with his ore..but whatever. WE LIVED!!! So I had to be a little uncomfortable on my birthday..did I mention the outhouse...AHHHH my heavens....of course I had to use the bathroom...I'd say ladies room but this wasn't no ladies room....twice while we were there and NO ONE..I repeat...NO ONE..should have to dry heave like I did when I went in that portapotty. DI-freakin-SGUSTING!!!

We headed home to shower and then we went to the Cheesecake Factory and ate like kings. (**warning.....this is where husband needs more training...) We were just finishing our nice meal...enjoying the feel of "over fed" when I mentioned something like this...." Oh boy..I feel like a beached whale..." My husband ever so lovingly looked me in the eyes and said,...." you are the prettiest beached whale I have ever seen." WOW.... WOW..... WOWZERS!!! Geez... wow babes...thank you...I mean no one has ever said that to me before. What do you say after that. And although he deserved to be kicked where it counts...I didn't...because it was my birthday and he was trying to be nice and it has to be my fault...I guess I never taught him that when a woman says she is a beached whale you should never EVER say,.."Oh yes hun, you are...but you are the danged cutest whale I ever did see...." Somehow I can never see how that would go over well..(one more thing to add to my sidebar of "greg says the darndest things..."

After dinner we came home and as we were driving the prettiest rainbow in the world was right in from of my house. It was gorgeous and I hate to be overassured but I am pretty sure that that was heaven's way of saying...I LOVE YOU! Argue we me if you want..but what are the chances......thats what I thought.

One of the greatest gifts came on my birthday and that was the birth of my new little nephew. I was able to go see him after dinner and I do believe that since I am sharing my birthday with him then my sister in law Kerri should give me half custody of him. No arguments from any of you....whats fair is fair.

And although I am sad another year has come and gone and I am only getting older..the reality of it all is that I have had 30 wonderful years. For being such a paranoid person..this is an accomplishment..I haven't died yet!! I can't even believe the things I have seen and done and experienced in my life and I can't help but be grateful for the gifts that I have. I am most grateful to be married to my one and only and to have had the blessing of bearing my three beautiful little boys. So...I move on towards my 31st year with anticipation of the years that lie ahead...here's to a life without anymore kayaking rides!!!

*** oh and for the physical gift..I received a new IPOD Touch...YEAH!!!!

Mind your manners!!

*Warning there is some "smelly" details in this post!!

Last Wednesday was a great night. We decided to go to the REAL game with our good friends the Vickers....(give it up for the Vickers!!! Hoot hoot!!) Our families just really hit it off...every one of us and we are in the process of arranging a marriage between two of our children...(D and Ali) We went to dinner at Greg's favorite place...Crown Burger..where my burger actually tasted like a crown...EW...Greg ate most of it. But it was fun nonetheless. Walking from Crown Burger the one whole block was a nightmare because my anxiety always gets the better of me and we arrive with me in a sweat...Greg verbally abused...and the children bouncing off of the sidewalk...BUT we survived and that is all that matters right? Greg insisted on the cheapest tickets of course because he is one of those who like to buy low and sit high. We had to take the children on many drink breaks because we were so high up the sun was beating down on us and threatening to ruin our night.

We were at the game no more than five minutes when a "unlovely" couple comes and takes the seats right in front of us. That may sound harsh to call them unlovely but continue reading on and I am positive your opinion will change...."they ain't so innocent"...:) We were just enjoying our time together when out of no where the FOULEST smell seemed to hit us smack in the face. We immediately assume it was one of the six children that we had brought with us. We questioned and commented on how horrendous this smell was. The children all promised it wasn't them...which then made us turn on our husbands. We knew it wasn't them because they were passed out on the ground from the smell. Okay, they weren't passed out but the look of disgust on Greg and Aaron's faces just told us it wasn't them. Just as we are getting settled again.....BOOM...another smell of death violates our space. We aren't a quiet bunch and begin to question where this smell is coming from. Just then Martha and I notice that the lady in front of us is elbowing her husband and giggling. IT IS OBVIOUS this guy is the perpetrator. HOW DARE HIM!!!

Games, people, are 90 minutes. Let me tell you that 80 out of 90 of these minutes were spent in the most putrid smell man can make. It got so bad that we finally decided that if they were

that rude then we wouldn't be quiet about our disgust. We made sure our comments were heard..like, "I'd like to call a foul..on the foul smell coming from in front of us." We took pictures of this "unlovely couple" and finally had to break out Martha's nice smelling lotion to try to compete with the bad air around us. And as much as we said..he still decided to silently invade our space. It was like a game to them. They giggled and poked each other and my disgust grew for Mr. and Mrs. Stinky. At one point I had to cover my nose with my hoody just so I could rest my nasal passages from being burned. You think I am exaggerating but I promise the smell we endured that night was as bad as it gets. It is what I like to consider a "hot one"...the kind that smell like a rotten egg and you know must have hurt when it came out. Gross...you betcha it is gross and I hate to have to explain in detail but it is the only way to try to take you through our experience.


I mean, look at Colton my poor baby. He got knocked out for the entire game.....SHOCKING!!!

Take a good look at these people and keep their backsides memorized in your brain and if you EVER EVER happen to sit down and realize these offenders are in front of you..take my advice and RUN...turn in your tickets, give them away, watch the game from the bathroom...I don't care..just save yourself and NEVER EVER try to endure the smell of death. No game is worth it!(I'm sorry if you are related to these people....I mean I'm not sorry about the post...I'm sorry you have to endure the smell at family reunions!!)

Too cute too pass up...

I know its been awhile. I will be better. But I couldn't risk forgetting this memory.

Colton is a smart mouth. He talks back, copy cats, says bad words and then follows them with a "thats a bad word" like he is shocked it came out of his mouth but also very VERY proud!! (like butt...or dumb..) Every word I say he says it is a bad word even if I just say banana....or when I say he is a smart mouth he always say..."smartmouth is a bad word mom..." He's in that phase.

The other day I gave my little Mia dog a bath..(no we didn't sale her..okay we sold her but I couldn't give her up.) I was drying her off with a towel and she started licking her self. Greg was absolutely disgusted by this gesture and so he says, "Why the heck is she licking her crotch?" Colton was sitting next to Mia and he looks at her a little confused and then repeats.."She is licking her crotch. Crotch is a bad word." I looked at Greg with a look of "way to go hun!!" In the meantime I keep telling Colton to get away from Mia because his face is covered in chocolate..one I just washed the dog and two dogs can't have chocolate and this kids has pounds of it leftover on his face. Finally I said, "Hey, get away from the dog chocolate face!" He then proceeds to stick out his tongue at me and shake his little head and in the best mimicking voice he can muster,.. says, "get away from the dog chocolate CROTCH!" Shock is the only word to describe this child. He is quick....real quick with his wit and sometimes he still shocks me. I flicked his mouth and tried to get mad at him but how can you get mad first at the cutest little person ever who just called me a chocolate crotch and two when his 33 year old father is about to fall off the couch because he is also in shock but can't hold in his laughs.

Life is never dull. Alex just said family prayers and his prayer included this line, "Heavenly father pleeeeeeease protect us from bears, and tigers, and cheetahs and earthquakes. Please don't let me have that wolf dream tonight and I pray that daddy and mommy won't have that wolf dream either." My children are filled with paranoia...I don't believe I know where they get it from. Dallin just fell off of his ripstick and hit his head pretty hard. He is convinced that death will come knockin for him tonight. I was on the phone with my mom and told her that I dreaded tomorrow because I had to take all three boys to the dentist and Dallin in the background says, "if you have three boys by tomorrow..." Poor kid..I really am not mocking him because he did hit pretty hard but I am keeping on eye on him but sometimes his comments crack me up!!

So much to catch up on but I better get in bed because I am pretty sure I have swine flu.....(oh that's right the paranoid children come from me!!):)

Where oh where have my little keys gone..oh where oh where could they be???...

I know this isn't the most attractive photo of my under chin but it makes me smile because I took it one night and everytime I took the picture Greg was cut out of the picture and I was front and center....just like I should be huh?:)

Funniest thing...um..people always wonder how I have trouble follow me. Do I really have that bad of luck or is it made up?.....My friends, I wish it was made up sometimes, but I guess the positive side of it is that Greg and I always love to laugh at the drama that unfolds in our lives..it makes it exciting. I will admit though that life has been pretty NORMAL lately...(knock on wood)





So a lot of us may have the same experience every year when it is basketball season. For Greg, sports is sooooooooooooooo important. We've got BYU basketball, the JAZZ, March Madness(which I happen to be in first place and Greg is in 19th out of 20 people in my family....just thought I'd add that tidbit) and then best of all......CHURCH BALL. I always have to laugh at the seriousness these men take in playing ward ball. You would think that we have a couple of "professional" players in our midst because it is taken so seriously. .... And then there is the so called championships. I don't know about anyone else but my life is put on hold and rearranged for these games. I have to admit though that I like watching my love muffin playing basketball..especially since his muscles have been growing from lifting weights...arrrrrrgh! Anywho, last night was the first game outside of our stake. We made sure dinner was partaken of early enough to not allow side aches and made sure we left for the church that is about 10 minutes away about 50 minutes early. Don't you know that "professionals" need time to warm up and stretch. Have I mentioned how comical it is to watch these guys get ready to play...it is some pretty serious stuff.





Well, the game proceeded and in the beginning we were ahead..I mean really ahead....and then we weren't so ahead, and then oh crap we were tied. It was intense...and I may have or may not have voiced my opinion that I hoped we kind of lost so that my date night on Friday night was no longer lost....to which I received appalled looks for being so cruel to our own little ward basketball pros:)..... Needless to say the nail biter game ended in us barely winning.....wow..I am so happy i can't control my excitement. Which means you can find us at another church house tonight playing another team to the death. In all seriousness...it is actually fun.





Okay, but we chit chatted a minute and said our goodbyes and went to go to our car and LOW AND BEHOLD we couldn't find our car keys. Now anyone who knows us knows that GREG loses our keys constantly. You would think that he would just put them in a safe place each time now with how many times we have lost our keys. I have been at games before where I see little kids walking by with some keys and in the past I luckily have noticed that they are mine. I think he purposely loses the keys so that we can pray and have faith and find them in the oddest places possible. I turned to Greg with vengeance because I was not in the mood to search the church for my keys....I wanted to go home considering the fact that we will be back for more church ball in less than 24 hours from this time. We went back in to the "fan area" and searched high and low...and no keys. I will admit that the daggers coming from my eye area were intense. We stopped the next game and asked to see if anyone had seen our keys. NOPE of course not. I at this point decided that someone accidentally took them home with them...but I made sure Greg knew that if he would just put them in his basketball bag where they belong then we wouldn't have this problem. Greg got on the phone and started calling every person on our team to see if they took our keys. No one. Then he started calling people from the other team...all while I called my mother to vent about the fact that Greg lost the keys again. I also gathered my little children around and fed them sweet tarts that were in my camera bag.. good thing I brought my camera bag in since I didn't take one picture the whole game....as intense as ward basketball is I couldn't bring myself to be so cheesy as to take a picture. Alex kept saying, "I know that Satan came and took our keys"...and "I want to go home and go to bed, my heart is already asleep." To which I replied, "No Satan didn't take them...dad just lost them..AGAIN".





In the end our bishop and his wife brought us our spare key. (Thank you) I vented to the bishop and warned him that he should hold Greg back because I was going to abuse him...:) I told them to stay inside while I just made sure they weren't in the car. As I went out I reassured myself that they wouldn't be there because I had already looked through the windows and couldn't see them...but it was dark so I thought I would make sure. Sure enough I open the doors and start searching the car. NOTHING! Dangit. I was so bugged because everything is on those keys. As I went to get out of the car I grabbed my purse. I decided...WHY NOT...so I opened MY purse and WOWZERS...................................um,................................ crap......................dangit....I mean................. yeah........crap................THERE WERE THE KEYS. How did they get in my purse?!!?! Better yet...how was I going to tell Greg. Here I had been so upset with him that HE lost the keys and all along they sat in my purse. Now let me tell you that it has now been and HOUR AND A HALF since the game ended. It is 9;30 at night. I spent a minute by myself as I laughed a little too hard and a little too loud and then I mustered up the courage to face GREGORY....now mind you he is joined by the bishop and his wife..and my three innocent children. Funny enough...HE DIDN'T FIND IT AS ENJOYABLE AS I DID. Greg isn't one to get mad but his response was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME...WHAT THE HECK...ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME." ...."Um, nope honey, I'm not but aren't you glad we have our keys back.?!?!?" Most of us had a really good laugh and we drove home happily ever after.





**okay but to my defense I had to think back to what had happened because I know I didn't put those keys in my purse because I knew I wasn't taking my purse in. I remember getting in my purse to get some gum for me and the boys when we pulled up. Greg threw me the keys and his phone and they must have landed in my purse but I told him I wasn't taking in my purse so he took them out...so I thought...but in the end he only took out his phone and set in on the floor. I saw him take it out and just assumed he took out the keys too. SOOOO, really we were mutually in the wrong. SORRY BABE!!!





I decided that we all needed some ice cream and so we decided on a place we have never been to. We decided on just getting twist cones. Which to me mean chocolate and vanilla. I payed and got back in the car and took a little licky and UGH...what was that odd taste? Seems as though in my new neck of the woods...twist mean vanilla and nasty because that other flavor wasn't chocolate. I guess it was banana but in a yucky sort of way. Greg described it as a banana popsicle which may be good to some but was nasty to Greg and I...Oh, well...might as well end our day that way...did I mention I took a big chip of paint out of our car earlier that day at Walhole? Needless to say...I was happy to climb into my bed safe and sound.





**** no husband or wife was hurt in the retelling of this story!

Reward or Punishment..that is the question

I had a wonderful chat with Dallin's wonderful teacher the other day at the wonderful parent teachers conference. Of course wonderful Dallin is doing wonderful in school and I am thrilled. I am using wonderful a lot in the first part of this post because it won't be found in the second half...trust me. I feel it is wondeful to reward your child when they do absolutely wonderful in school and so a wonderful report card always results in the child picking a place to go to dinner...which is usually wonderful......uh hmmm.....usually. Dallin had his piano recital on Monday and of course my little pooky did wonderful and although we weren't going to take him out for grades until Saturday and were going to go home to the wonderful stew I had prepared before the recital to eat when we got home...I got persuaded differently. Greg put a little suggestion into Dallin's ear and because I let him pick where we are going to eat I was left we little choice...a lot of regret...but little choice. One word will actually describe what I am talking about:

chuck-A-rama [chuck-AA-ram-a]

-noun,

1. favored by Gregory

2. place where HE is overhappy and overzealous and overeats

3. place where Rebecca wants to puke before, during and after

4. easy to burn hole in wallet for mere pleasure of eating scones

5. characterized by a high price, ok food, and an overcrowding of UNIQUE people

synonyms- guttwrenching, loud, crowded, occasional hair on cornbread, watered down icecream

antonyms- Chili's, Cafe Rio, Brick Oven, Red Robin, JCW's......(the list is too long)

Now that you understand my dilemma you will understand why I had one of those nights where you are partly asleep and partly awake because your guts hurts so bad and your throat is so tight because you are praying that you won't puke the contents of your outstretched belly: (contents were scone, cornbread..the one that was hairless, and a roll dipped in blue cheese dressing...oh and a few onion rings and a few bites of rice pudding......) That's all I could find that looked remotely tolerable to me and trust me,,..I now know that none of those sit great together in your belly.

I've got to rethink this good grades thing because it ended up being a punishment for me. Now all you "chuck" lovers hold your opinions and thoughts to yourself. I know that the CHUCK has some good qualities too......I mean "quality"....................the coke was to die for!!! :)

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY DEAR COLTON

FROM THIS..........

TO

THIS...........

Dear Bubba,

Yet another year has passed and I am left in awe that you have yet progressed another year. It is so surreal to think that those emotions and feelings that I feel didn't just happen yesterday. They still seem so fresh and new and I hope that I will never forget them...because they are my story with you. It is amazing to think that you were that little baby inside of me that I longed to see each week through our private little ultrasound moments. Your dimpled chin was what got me through your emotional pregnancy and the first thing I did when I met you was kiss your chin....that famous...wonderful..chin. Its hard to believe that you were the one I was fighting so hard for...and you were the one that was fighting so hard to be here. Together...we made it and now it seems we have spent three years only strengthening our bond..and I have loved every second of your life...and although it hurts to let my baby grow up...it is miraculous that you are growing up and with no limitations as it once was suspected.

What a journey your existence has been. Each day of my pregnancy I begged to feel you live..to move and know you were still alive and what a gift these past three years have been to actually see you live and live so so SO well. Even after you were born the complications from your pregnancy threatened to take your life....threatened to limit your abilities....and threatened your natural progression.....YET once again you have been part of a miracle because none of those things occurred. You are whole and perfect and I will spend every day of my life kissing you and loving you and thanking my Father in Heaven that you are mine. You are my little fighter and you are and will always be my little hero.

Happy Birthday my sweet sweet Colton. Here's to your third birthday and to many many more memories to be made!!

I love you!

mommy

Let there be snow and laughter....

Is it spring? How come I feel like I should be getting Christmas up and going again. Oh,..I guess it could be the mounds of snow we recieved last night. I always love Daylight savings in the spring for the fact that it is finally light longer and we can stay out a little later and play a good game of P-I-G.....but last night we found ourselves peering out the windows at the beautiful fresh fallin snow....yet it was still light outside and 7:30 at night. I am ready for spring but I think this much snow is a beautiful sight. It fell so fast and so hard. Our family sat with the blinds open enjoying the fresh snow as we watched Sound of Music for our activity for FHE. Does it get much more perfect than that???? I say not!! AHHHHH, I really do love my life.

After the kiddos went to bed I talked Greg into just doing my ab workout with me. I had already done the treadmill and begged him to just try this workout with me. We made some deals and then next thing I knew he was "abbing" it up with me and the Ab Jam crew. I seriously hurt so bad because I was laughing so hard. After we finished I begged him to let me get a little bit on tape...for posterity...okay so I could laugh at him anytime I want to. Here is just a snippit of my wonderful, hilarious, good sportin lover!! This video does not even compare to the "hilariousness" of the whole workout laying next to him..... Really, I think I tripled my ab results just from laughing through the whole thing. I love how he bends his big toes forward....definetly a Greg trait. I love you babe...thanks for making my life so exciting.....and hilarious!! (P.S. I probably would have made him do the whole thing over again just for the video but I had to go discipline my oldest for getting up for the billienth time...he came down to tell us that he got first place on Mario Cart...it was 10:00.....stinker).....