PSYCHO (said in a high pitched Opera Voice)

I have found in my life that no matter how stressful life can get..there is always something to provide a good laugh. Although, I haven't decided if this story deserves a good laugh or a high pitched scream in terror!! I would like to thank the delivery boy..who delivered Colton's monitor (pulse/ox) for enlightening Greg and I on things other than our monitor. And heaven forbid he ever read this...you really are a nice person...(please don't hurt me) Hear goes:

So this nice young man...:)....came to our home yesterday. I kindly asked Greg if he would like to clothe himself and come out for the lesson on the machine...although we all know I already know how to use it and lets get serious...I'm going to be the only one to run it this time around too. Love ya babe..the truth truly hurts!! Oh, and for those of you fantasizing about Greg clothing himself...STOP...he wasn't completely declothed...he was in his "under garments". That is our casual attire around here..I just thought he'd like to um,...dress up a little because heaven knows...and some good friends and family know...to many people have seen him in his "casual attire". (some examples would be taking the garbage out late at night....running out to get the newspaper in the morning...ect.) You get the picture?!?!? (Sorry if you did get the picture) Moving forward.

So this young man came in and briefly went over the machine with us. I actually gave him a little lesson on the machine..but I hate to be the teacher's pet. Anywho! I then made casual talk with him...cause I'm nice like that :) and he told me that they were expecting their first baby in the fall. "Oh, how nice...." I said. I found out they were having a boy and he told me his name and said.."You like that name?" (By the way...read this with a southern accent...cause it ain't gonna sound right less you read that way..) I told him it was great and he said his wife picked out the name so he told her it was only fair that he got to pick out the nursery colors. (At this point...we actually lost Greg. Thank you Greg for ditching me)!!!! I thought..how nice..a dad who wants to pick out nursery colors. He can't be that bad..it's actually kind of sweet. So I got the run down on the nursery and I won't go into those details.

Here's the creepy part. He said he came from a family with four sisters and two brothers. He looked me right in the eye and said this......"I TOLD MY WIFE I'M GONNA RAISE ME A KILLER."??? Um, "excuse ei mua?" I don't think I heard ya right buddy. I really just said, "oh, okay.." (Please Mister nice guy...don't kill me!!!!!!" (that was the actual thought in my head) I didn't want to upset the dude. So than he repeated himself...like I didn't hear him the first time. Now we all know that I...me...Becky...is/am terrified of bumble bees...let alone serial killers...or in this case serial killer trainers! He said, "brothers gotta be able to protect sister. My dad's a karate black belt and he taught us how to take people out. Every sister needs a big brother. My sister didn't have a big brother...but do you know what two little brothers make???? One BIG brother. There were many times we had to drag people into a dark alley and show them how to treat a lady with respect. I want my son to know there is no problem with pullin someone behind a shed and teaching them a lesson." Me, being dumb and sarcastic said, "Well here's to hoping our kids don't go to the same school...he, he..um..just kidding nice person". He said, "No, you better teach your boy how to treat a lady and our kids can be best friends." I kindly...very nicely...very very politely shuffled him out my door...wanted him to think we were good old friends. I came back in and walked around the corner to see Greg's eyes wide as can be. I kindly thanked him for excusing himself...and leaving me to chitchat with the nice delivery boy about killing people. Always a pleasure.

So, I definitely agree that boys need to learn how to treat a lady. I've met one to many jerks in my life who may have deserved a good kick in the..um...well...um..the butt. And at the same time...I think there are some girls who need a lesson in niceness too. I guess I don't really take the death approach though. Not my style. That's all I'm sayin Mister Nice Delivery Boy. So, like I said..don't know if I should laugh or have nightmares! You know me...I over analyze and I am now getting a new ulcer about our children running into each other in, um, like twenty years and my kid saying something his kid "don't like" and my kid being dragged behind some shed. I guess this is something to add to my list of fears.....MY KID BEING TAKEN OUT BY DELIVERY BOYS KID FROM 2008 WHEN HE DELIVERED THE PULSE/OX MACHINE! Great!!

(Oh, and please if this boy every reads this post..I don't know why he would..but you never know....I really think you are a nice person...we just share different views on violence. Oh, and thank you for bringing out that machine...I really appreciate it! Good luck with the baby!)