Just another reason why bees should not have ever been created........
I took the boys to Walhole on Friday. We just needed a few things and although I hate Walmart and actually shopping all together...I knew we could be quick. We ran in and were swift and efficient...the kids on their best behavior..(shocker) I should have known that it was the calm before the storm. I have seen every kind at Walmart...or so I thought. Let this be a lesson.....nothing should ever shock you in this world. And let me just announce this now...I do not love Halloween. I just don't get that into it.....and I'm starting to understand why.
Shocker #1: The boys and I have just retrieved our favorite vitamins. We haven't been faithful vitamin takers and after a few colds already this season we've recommited ourselves to the Flinstones and the "one a days". Anyways..we were on our way..I sort of wish I would have been warned and I could have also grabbed some of those reading glasses by the pharmacy so that the boys vision would have been a little misconstruded..(is that a word?). A chick comes walking by us..and by "chick" I mean a grown woman....(even more appauling..you sort of expect it from the teenagers) she is wearing something a long the lines of "romantic bedroom attire".....I am assuming because it was even a little immodest for bedroom attire if you catch my drift. I'm no prude but seriously....at Walmart..okay anywhere..but really...at the store????? I will admit after having three boys that boys are BOYS from the second they are born because my two year old took one look at her and said.."Whoaoa!!" That is sad!! For those who know me...you know that I wear every expression on my face whether I mean to or not. The girl put her hand to her chest..(her practically bare chest) and made some shocked look.....obviously mocking my look of astonishment. I don't want to judge and I won't but for heaven's sakes...I have three young boys who don't need a lesson on anatomy at the local Walmart.
Shocker #2: So if this lady wasn't bad enough...(you knew there was more didn't you?) I always say that it is appauling to me that bees are still flying around this time of year. Shouldn't they take a break for a good 6 months to make MY life a little less annoying. I hate bees and now....I think there is another good reason why they shouldn't exist. We went through the line and I was checking my bill...(things cost so much these days its amazing) when I looked up and literally when people say their jaw hits the ground..I believe them now because mine did just that!! The most shocking costume I have ever layed eyes on. There was a lady.....by that I mean a mother,... there with her children and she was wearing a skimpy underwear and bra....that's it. Okay, she had on antennas and some high heels..oh and a belly ring that my son informed me about later..nice!! The under roos were..you guessed it.....yellow and black. Isn't that darling. She was a bumble bee. Now I don't condone any person wearing this attire...especially to the grocery store..but first of all......A MOM..with her poor children by her side and second she wasn't fat but she wasn't skinny either and her body was covered in stretch marks. Now...I don't say that meanly because I pretty much just described my body...but who has that kind of self confidence to wear that to Walmart or anywhere for that matter?
My poor poor children really saw too much on our shopping trip. I was driving home and just had to call my sister to share my shock and I told her that she was wearing yellow and black stripes and Dallin's pipes up from the back and says,.."No mom, her underwear were pokadots!!" SERIOUSLY!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! SER...IOU.....SLY????????? The difference between a boy and a girl. I was noticing the stretch marks and none of the details and my son memorized every single detail in the one second that his eyes caught sight of this woman...because then his eyes were covered!!!
I'm scared....(not just of bees) but for the world that my children are being raised in. I think we have become accustomed to things in our world. I know my boys would see that kind of stuff at the swimming pool but I don't appreciate it there either. You would just think that a little modesty at Walmart isn't too much to ask for!! I don't care if you are going to a great Halloween party....please cover yourself up at the local shopping center!!
Looking back...I wish I would've had my bee spray with me!!! It probably wouldn't have had the same affect like it would on a real bee....but it would've been funny to try!!
16 comments:
That's why I always wear jeans and a black sweater on Halloween. The black is obviously the festive part of the attire.
Oh my gosh! And I thought it was bad out here in Magna. Oh, wait a minute-it's bad out here too.
I will have to remember to carry bee spray. Good idea.
What happened to the good old days?
Try living outside the state of Utah. We had only lived in Nevada for a month when Halloween came last year. Some of the costumes were, shall we say, interesting!
Oh great - now I have to find a new costume. I thought I was being creative by wearing that to Wal Mart. You could've at least said hi.
ha!! i love how you write. I read that whole post and it was still hilarious, even after I had already heard the story from you.
you crack me up! we're gonna go walking soon.......
Holy Cow...if that story isn't blog worthy then I don't know what is. Makes you wonder what will be acceptable attire when our children are teens hu? YIKES!
You and your bee spray. That would have been funny. NOw I can't believe you saw that much at Walmart. That is just sad. This world is just getting worse by the minute. Who has the nerve to wear clothes (umm, I mean nothingness) like that anywhere even to a party. That is just WRONG!
How come funny stuff like that always happens to you? What is wrong with people these days? I'm glad you looked shocked, she should know that it is shocking, but that's probably what she wanted anyway. Kamryn used to point at people and say really loud, "MOM! She is NOT modest!" I had to put a stop to that, but in some ways I liked that she could say it! You are so funny.
Aww Bec, I miss you! Brad was just telling me last night that he reads your blog every day. He reads the 'Greg says the darndest things' section. He was repeating them to me (even though I already read them) and we were laughing so hard! I was crying and my stomach hurt! Like I've said before, it's a shame you found Greg first! :)
I believe that when I die my Hell will be spending eternity at Wal-Mart with every freak that also didn't make it to Heaven. I guess I just called myself a freak...well if the shoe fits. Anyway this thought alone (spending eternity in Wal-Fart) is enough to keep me trying for the straight and narrow. I am clinging to the Iron Rod at this point.
All I can even think to say is WOW!
Who are these people that use Halloween to let their inner slut out?! I like to call it their "slutstume". I guess the only place she felt comfortable shopping was the local trashmart as we like to call it. and apparently it was with good reason seeing as how she had a friend in lingerie there as well!
Ha! Try coming to my Wal-mart! It was listed as THE MOST CRIME WAL-MART in our Nation!!! No one in my ward goes there unless it is early AM! Wal-mart is a slum-hole! Next time, try Target. ;-) I feel for your boys. If only they came with a delete button.
Becky,
Don't feel bad that Greg doesn't make the pancakes. It is unfair to compare any husband to me!
-Chad
That's a hilarious story! There should be a reality TV show about your daily experiences, it seems like funny and eventful things are always happening to you. Take care and we look forward to reading more stories
LOL, LOL, LOL! I am laughing so hard. Even the comments to your post scream hilarious. You are too funny. I am so sorry that you had such an unfortunate series of events.
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